


To want and to gain

by Illidria



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Day 6, F/M, Greed!Miles, LLF Comment Project, homunculus au, livmilesweek 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 16:17:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12821283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illidria/pseuds/Illidria
Summary: Felt control taken from him, though more at ease with the spot in his own mind now, as much as he could be, given the circumstances.“Greed’s the name! I…”Sighed, loudly.“Yes, yes, not that again!”“Spoilsport!”





	To want and to gain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NorthernWall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthernWall/gifts), [InkuisitivSkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkuisitivSkins/gifts).



> Happy last day of LivMilesWeek 2017 folks! It has been such a great time, such wonderful works have been posted, I’m just so very happy and sad at the same time :’)
> 
> This AU is quite the canon-bend, though I hope you’ll still bear with me. Miles as Greed would be vastly different form Lin, something else entirely, really. I wanted to convey that and hope I’ve not butchered everything too much :/
> 
> Cursive is thoughts shared between Miles and Greed.
> 
> And a big thank you to @Inkuisitivskins and @NorthernWall, because those two gave me the prompts to work with. I really hope you like it guys :D

“Still no sign?”

Walked next to the silent General, back straight, face set.

Watched from two steps behind how she shook her head no, not even uttering a word about the Majors absence. She’d send him to Central, had him deliver a stack of confidential papers. It was usual protocol when files were classified as top secret and as such they’d been put in an armoured suitcase and handcuffed to his wrist. The Major had done this quite often by now and in this case, had delivered the papers as usual, too.

That he vanished on his way North again though, that was new.

He hadn’t even boarded the train northbound, this alone highly uncharacteristic. He’d spoken to Captain Hawkeye on his way out, had been seen by a flower vendor on the way to the train station a bit later and since then: nothing. General Armstrong had of course inquired, though a short inspection of the case by the military police came up empty.

No hints, no evidence, nothing. Like Major Miles had just vanished from the face of the planet.

In private he’d talked with the General, about their mutual fear that someone had gotten behind the secret of his heritage, that he was floating around at the bottom of Central Cities river as they were speaking. Her own unease at how quickly the military police let the case drop, though he was a Major.

It was quite a high rank if one was honest, not attained easily. And he was the adjutant of one of the most notorious Generals in Amestris. This alone would have usually given the search for him more time. And not the rather offhand comment via radio to the General, that the Major maybe deserted his post.

It was a good thing she couldn’t murder people through the machine, though by the way Karley was traumatized after this radioing in from Central, she’d sure tried.

But while inspecting the barracks of the men together, his opinion still stood: Something fishy was going on, Major Miles not someone who’d just desert his post, or vanish without a trace. At least not without putting up a fight.

Buccaneer knew that the man was enamoured with the General, their friendship steadfast but always brushing something more. He’d watched them interact for so long now, was friends with both, he’d have to be blind not to see it. And he was sure that they knew of the others feelings, though weren’t acting on it.

This was Briggs after all, a war-zone at the best of times, hell at the worst. Love was silent up here, desperate and hidden away, often from oneself, too. You did not risk the enemy knowing, the higher-ups getting wind of it. They did not care if you were a sergeant, kissing another at ground level, hidden away in a corner.

But things were different when you were the General.

Halfway through the inspection a soldier ran up to them, relaying them the news of two people nearing the wall without announcement from Northern Command and that Central had urgent news for the General.

They separated, each taking on their duties, pushing down the underlying and constant feeling of worry.

* * *

 

He could only watch, as the homunculus played him.

Was a prisoner in his own body, locked away and though he struggled at first, he’d soon understood that saving his strength would be more helpful. Mind racing when he thought about what had happened over the course of a few weeks, first snatched into an alleyway on his way to Centrals Cities train station.

He’d fought for his freedom of course, but it had proven futile.

The man he now knew to be called Father had send his henchmen, homunculi, to get him, to find him in the streets and present him to the man like one would a pig for slaughter. They’d always felt that something was wrong in Central, that something wasn’t as it was supposed to be, but he’d never thought on this scale. Learned soon to broaden his view even more, involuntarily or not.

Soon understood, held to the floor by a beast unlike anything he’d ever seen before, everchanging before his eyes, looking like something out of a nightmare, that they had only interest in his body and position.

“A fine pawn I have chosen, don’t you think so?”

The bearded man leaning over him, a red, gooey substance in his hand, letting it drip in between his bleeding and bruised lips. He’d not understood, had tried to get away, struggled and wiggled and used all of his considerable strength, gained over a long period of years. Tried to spit the stuff out when it slipped into his mouth, crawled over his lips, moving of its own accord.

The pain that came next had been excruciating.

This red thing slithered down his throat, leaving a trail of burning flesh, eliciting screams of pain from him. It was a direct kind of anguish, unbridled and utterly extreme, like nothing he’d ever felt before, self-control faltering. The feeling of burning up from the inside spreading through his whole body, fire lightning up every muscle until he felt like his fingertips, his toes, were sweltering.

And when the heat reached his head, when his vision swam, pain evolved to panic.

Trashed on the floor, not even knowing when his captors relinquished their hold on him. Was suddenly hyperaware of the uniform he had on, the concrete he lay on, his own hair brushing along his skin. It was too much, the light too bright, the smells too strong. When one of the people around him snickered, he wanted to scream at them, to be quieter this instant because it seemed so loud to him.

Only more screams escaping him, stopping suddenly, his mouth closing without him having given it a command to do so.

That’s when he’d been forced into the prison of his own soul, became a spectator at his own life.

_“Thinking about this old hat again?!”_

The being residing inside of his body had given itself an appearance, a red face, more like a mask, teeth pointed and white. Talked to him as frequently as it needed to impersonate him believably. Sometimes butting in on his thoughts, his voice apparently loud against those of the others, trapped in what he now knew to be a philosopher’s stone.

_“Giving me the silent treatment, huh? Still mad that I took you by force?”_

Did not think anymore, had learned to cease to in the short time the being had taken over his body. Avarice, Greed, as he was always so very kind to remind him. It hungered to be granted a name and for Miles to use it.

_“Or are you still cross with me for pointing out our similarities?! You have wants, more and greater than you ever admitted out loud!”_

Felt irritation, albeit not his own.

_“Now come on, and I like to talk so much! Was it that I mocked your wish for freedom and peace? That little family-fantasy of yours? The pure avarice of you, one man, wanting to change a whole countries perception? This hot blonde? It’s because of the blonde, right?!”_

The ugly snickers echoing around him not getting a rise out of him anymore.

_“You are useless when you give me nothing of yourself, don’t you forget that!”_

Allowed himself a look through his own eyes, of consciousness in his own body, suddenly understanding what the being wanted him for. Needed him for even.

Opposite of them stood the man Central had been on the hunt for, the killer out for state alchemists, only called the scarred man by the newspapers. Propped up against a wall, building they were in almost empty, people around them.

The thing inside of him needed to know how Miles would handle the situation, had impersonated him up until now in a manner quite convincing, though he could sense the wariness coming from the soldiers of Briggs around him.

If the being mucked this up, it would blow its cover, would never be able to enter the Fort disguised as him. He’d gotten that this seemed to be the plan, though he’d already interjected repeatedly, that certain people there were impossible to fool.

_“You’ll have to hand over control to me.”_

Hearing a snort from the inside of your own body sounded more threatening than anything else.

_“Yeah sure! Should I pack my bags while I’m at it, leave through your ear?”_

Looked at the scarred man, the soldiers around him, the kids he’d met up with in North City, seeming so very suspicious of him. If they’d truly managed to gain Olivier’s trust, they knew that something was off about him. That he hadn’t heeded her commands to a tee and that they ought to be careful with him.

_“I cannot prompt you what to say every second, I need to meet him word for word. The men will grow suspicious if I don’t, they know me too well.”_

And just like that, he could move on his own.

Talked with his Ishvalan brother, watched as the kids around him showed more humanity and decency than he’d seen in most grown-ups. And when a communication officer stepped up to him, asked him if they shall radio in on Briggs now, to relay the newest happenings to the General, he felt the being take control again.

“No, this can wait!”

Which was, of course, the wrong thing to say.

Weapons were aimed at him, the cheesy question who he was and what he’d done to the Major answered by the thing using him with a grin.

“Greed’s the name…”

The being not getting any further, shots being fired in its direction.

He hated that he wasn’t in control, that his body was used as a mere vessel. That his thoughts were invaded constantly, that there was the screaming of thousand imprisoned souls as a background noise to him now. That his own comrades were shooting at him, though he was proud of them at the same time, their missing hesitation.

The one good thing though was the ultimate shield, Miles had to give the being that.

* * *

 

_“I’d say you blew your chance at impersonating me.”_

They’d escaped the Briggs soldiers, were walking through plain landscape, the thing having exchanged his uniform for leather pants and a tacky vest, foregoing a shirt entirely, instead encasing his torso in the grey shield. The only thing it kept were his boots and googles.

_“Shut it! That means you’re useless!”_

_“Am I?”_

The thing had a way into his mind and during their escape he’d finally learned that this was a two-way street. It knew little about the world it was in, needed and relied on his experiences, his own hidden behind a wall.

_“You are! And I make it a point to never tell a lie, so stop doubting it!”_

Chuckled, feeling bold all of a sudden. And when he made use of an opening in the homunculus mind, he was in power of his legs suddenly, stumbled to the ground.

_“What was that for!?”_

_“You called me useless.”_

Could not deny that it felt good to be reminded of his own strength.

_“Very funny. But on another note, because you finally seem like you want to entertain me a bit: Why did you let me take residence in your body?”_

Laughed to himself, a strange feeling when your body did not laugh with you.

_“That wasn’t clear? I had to choose between dying and gaining knowledge about what was so wrong about Central Command. I’d have been a fool to choose the former.”_

_“Still think you can overpower me? Use the knowledge you gained? You know what’s going to happen, that Father will win!”_

And edge filling his own voice at that, a self-assuredness that he hadn’t known he possessed.

_“I already did, thusly I have nothing to prove to you. And you talk of knowledge to me, though there seems to be so little you know. Don’t you wonder where you came from, doesn’t it interest you that there was a you before you? This Elric-kid, he knew you.”_

Wondered what people would think, should anybody see the thing, making his body laugh loudly in the darkness.

_“You think that I care what came before me? It doesn’t matter to me, the only thing that matters is, well, me!”_

_“But don’t you feel the need to know?”_

Avarice, Greed, lived up to its name every second since he’d been forcefully joined with him. There was nothing he didn’t want, little he truly didn’t care for. Father was one of the latter things, his faithfulness to the man little more than a badly put together show. The former, his want, was something Miles had understood to be of use, took advantage of it right now.

_“It’s not about me, why should I want to know about it?”_

_“It’s in your head, so it’s yours. I thought you took what was yours? And that everything is yours?”_

Miles did not know what awaited him, them, behind the mental wall of the homunculus. But he was sure that information lurked for them, knowledge that could led them away from the scenario playing out in his head, Amestris nothing but a giant transmutation-cycle, of souls stolen and lives lost.

And when the homunculus answered only with silence, he fought him.

Tried to regain control of his body, his mind, pushed against the wall with all he had. Liked to think that he did good, if the struggle the creature put up with, the annoyance it felt, was any indication.

_“Why are you doing this?!”_

The homunculus screaming inside of his mind, fighting him at every turn, yet powerless to stop him. There was so much Miles could answer, that a live was worth remembering, that being yourself, _remaining_ yourself, should be top priority. The being needed a broad view if he wanted it to fight against father, to fight for itself.

Words too numerous to say of course, Miles instead keeping it simple.

_“What are you risking?”_

Felt the damn break, memories flooding the two of them, painful and overwhelming.

More than just a pang felt when he realised how decidedly human the homunculus desires were, how similar to his own. Shared the sadness upon the realization that those the creature had held dear to him, however much denying it, were gone. Could empathize, walked in silence with the being, not even aware that he was the one walking them through the barren landscape.

Their mutual speechlessness held for hours, though the turmoil of emotions swirling around him did not die down quickly.

But it was the homunculus voice inside of his head, pulling him out of his reverie.

_“We should join forces.”_

Was taken aback, did not know what to answer, what to feel at that. Trust wasn’t something he had yet for the creature, though understanding it better than before. At the same time, he knew that it was his only and thus best chance to save the people dear to him, his country. Himself, too.

_“Why the hesitation, I know what you think, remember?”_

Closed his thoughts off quickly, folding his arms in front of his chest, barely noticing that his body was doing the same. Felt almost shocked when he took note of how little he felt his own body, even when he was in control.

_“It’s a dangerous decision.”_

_“You think I’ll betray you?”_

Did not rule it out at least, though the memories, the devils nest, fallen friends, were as convincing as they could be. This being was decidedly human, the quality amplified that every single being on this planet possessed: Want.

_“I wouldn’t rule it out.”_

The weird sensation of feeling himself snicker in the darkness, something he didn’t usually do.

_“Smart man you are, I’ll give you that. But from here on out, I want to work together with you.”_

_“The goal?”_

Could barely hide his suspicion, though felt it lessen.

_“Annihilate the man that killed my underlings, the man that wants to destroy this world and rid of everything that I desire. Oh, and seize world domination!”_

Kept silent for a few more moments, closed his thoughts off and did not feel the being pry on them, either.

_“You have yourself a deal, homunculus!”_

Another groan filling the by now fallen night.

_“Please address me by my name, okay? I’m not like my brothers and sisters, I’m not just a…”_

Interrupted him, because he’d by now learned first-hand that he did not stop talking soon, once he got started.

_“What should I call you?”_

Felt control taken from him, though more at ease with the spot in his own mind now, as much as he could be, given the circumstances.

_“Greed’s the name! I…”_

Sighed, loudly.

_“Yes, yes, not that again!”_

_“Spoilsport!”_

* * *

 

They’d gone back to Fathers lair after their failed mission to North City.

Had played him a little, uncovered more information, though Miles had a hard time reigning Greed in. But they got along, rather surprisingly to him, even worked well together. The homunculus of course pestered him quite often, wanted to be in control and wanted to be the one in charge to an unhealthy degree, but they found ways to work with it. The worst thing though, was that Greed knew, what he knew. And to a degree wanted, what he wanted.

Had been able to talk him out of a visit to the mansion for more than a month now, though his luck had finally run out.

The wall to the Armstrong-Estate was still high, still topped with spikes, but they were no match for their combined, inhuman agility. The walk through the gardens done despite his constant and loud fight against it.

She’d been on his mind often, though he tried his best to close thoughts of her off. They were hard to bear, his own failed mission source of his current predicament, his inability to walk through Central with his guard up some more. Of course, he’d by now heard through several sources that the General of Briggs was furious that he’d apparently turned coat, or deserted, or whichever rumour was floating around right now. But Miles knew her longer than most, better than most.

He’d never betray her, and she knew that, had to be sick with worry.

They managed their way beneath a certain window undetected, climbed up the wall with the power of his fingers turning to claws. He’d relinquished control to the homunculus by now, the constant fight with Greed on the way here having worn him out. Would let him speak, hoping that this would make it easier on her.

When they pushed open the window, slipped in silently, the feeling of a blade against their throat had them freeze.

“Give me one good reason to not just kill you on the spot!”

Could not see her, Greed staring straight ahead. Felt what the homunculus felt, surprise, tenseness, even an ever so small nick of fear. The homunculus thoughts rushing through him, too fast to grab onto.

“I joined forces with the Major, he is still in here!”

Her blade not wavering against their throat, though granting them a little bit of space. While Greed turned his head to the side, Miles watched, seeing her silhouette against the light of the moon coming in through the windows. She’d slept, her hair was tousled, the shirt she wore big on her.

Could barely contain his emotions at the sight of her, heard Greed’s voice echoing in his mind.

_“This is her?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“She’s quick!”_

And to the mix of feelings coursing through the homunculus, another one was added: arousal.

“Why should I believe you?”

The feeling of being in control overwhelming him momentarily, of Greed pulling back, not only a little, but completely. Stunned silence filled the room and his mind for a few moments, in which he felt his eyes grow wide and his posture slacken.

_“Hurry up and say something, dismemberment isn’t a fetish of mine!”_

The whisper in his mind urgent and oddly exited at the same time.

“Sorry for not coming back immediately after my duty was done!”

Which led her to lower her sword, an incredulous look on her face not seen, but felt anyways.

_“That’s what you want to say to her?”_

“That’s what you want to say to me? After being gone for months?”

It was less anger and more irritation radiating from her now, though he was just glad that she was alright. Greed had painted him pictures weeks before, when they first got the news of her being moved to Central. Father had never had qualms about killing those off that were in his way.

And Miles could not answer, because it truly had been the first thing crossing his mind, everything else so decidedly unfitting for their current predicament. Felt Greed take over again, back straightening, turned spectator again.

“Have satisfied your curiosity, doll?”

Greed’s voice savvy, flirty. Miles not sure if it was because she’d awoken his want, or because _his_ want had mingled with the homunculus.

Saw her sword rise again at the homunculus way of addressing her, him hissing inside of his mind.

“Be glad that this is Miles within you, or I’d show you what a doll is capable off!”

_“Oh, feisty! You should have talked to me more about her!”_

His own answer drowned out by Greed’s question, curiosity apparently having gotten the better of him.

“How do you know that it’s not me playing tricks on you? Why are you so sure?”

The stance the homunculus took seeming easy, calm, but he felt the turmoil, was aware that Greed understood what a dangerous foe she would be.

“No other man would apologize for something so minor, while trapped in a life-threatening situation!”

At which Greed chuckled.

“Yes, he’s really something else! Though this leads me to why am I here: We should join forces!”

Screamed inwardly at Greed, almost desperately, would have palmed his face if it were possible.

_“Are you out of your mind?!”_

A snort escaping her, the mocking kind.

“With one of Centrals creations? Do you think me dense?”

The homunculus brushing her words away with a gesture, pulling himself up, an easy smile curling his lips. The effect lessening when you were up close, had an inside view and could feel how desperately he wanted to impress her.

“Oh love, nothing like that! See, I know what your dear Miles knows and you’re quite a force of nature according to him.

Saw that the stiffness was not leaving her body, all muscles pulled taunt. She was quick and smart, had heard them coming and been ready when they entered her room. Wondered for a moment, how it would’ve felt if she’d not hesitated, to be sliced by her sabre.

“Really, once you dip into his thoughts, there’s you at every corner. Fighting people, winning and all-around being badass. I won’t mention the rest, Miles and I are comrades, you don’t talk about a comrade’s dirty fantasies. But just think of us, working together!”

His grand gestures accentuated by a shake of his hips, not only Miles, but her groaning too, and not in a keen manner.

“You and me? We could create a new World! Let’s get rid of father, of the high-council and just rule this world!”

A scoff escaped her, a curse not a second after.

“You think it to be so easy, that creating a new world-order is something that happens overnight? Your want makes you blind for the dangers of your plan, blind for the wants of others, too!”

Anger rising within Greed, questioning him not the worst of ideas, but disagreeing with his nature.

“Never will know, if you never try honey? Don’t tell me that you don’t want? Not money, but power, respect? Love maybe? _I_ know that I want these things! That I want to create these things!”

Stepped closer to her, Miles trying to get his legs to move, to create distance again.

“Even your little adjutant here has wants, ambitious ones, even. Wants peace, quiet, you! Have you been aware of that, do you even understand that my wants align with his in parts? Could align with yours? The world would tremble before us!”

Screamed inside of his own body, not even sure if Greed heard him at the moment, focused on the General, wanting, too.

_“How dare you just tell her that, how dare you make things complicated!”_

The battles ahead would be numerous and dangerous, even more so when love was involved. If the things unsaid for so long came to the table, were a topic of discussion suddenly, they’d become a reason for inattentiveness, too.

And inattentiveness lead to death, mutilation. To a homunculus, taking over your body, stealing away your freedom, your confessions.

If she was surprised at Greed’s revelation, moved, she didn’t show it. Voice firm when she spoke, unwavering.

“I want the people of this world to live their lives in peace, I don’t want anybody to tremble except for those deserving too. Our goals don’t align, parasite. Give me back my adjutant, then leave! Maybe I’ll even let you live for that!”

Watched helplessly, as Greed widened his stance, slowly raised his arms, sounding mock-apologetic when he spoke.

“Can’t do that princess, I still need him. But hey, I tried to talk you into world-domination and you said no, I can respect that. Maybe we share another goal? How about the death of the thing that is called Father?”

Her voice like steel, cutting straight to the chase.

“A plan is already in motion, homunculus, with or without you. Find Edward Elric in the east when you want to be of use, get lost though, if you’re still delusional.”

Poking his pride with her words, however small.

“Nobody orders me around dear, you should have understood this by now! We’ve met the pipsqueak already; does he now confide his plans in you?”

Her answer quick and simple.

“No, but there are many means of gaining information. And if you are still not willing to hand over the Major, scram!”

Other men would have taken offense, but he only felt pride swell within him. She had seen through her foe, had understood that haggling for his life would be of little use, that the solution to his freedom was something he had to find by himself. Made sure to get Greed away from her, away from already made plans, seemingly precarious still, if she was this keen on keeping others out of it.

Greed took rejection badly, though was always ready for a challenge, to show how much he wanted something. And the homunculus greed amplified by his own, the need he felt towards the General rivalled his.

Shrugged and moved to the window-sill, still acting like her words meant nothing.

“Well then darling, don’t come running to me if things go south!”

And quicker than he could keep up, they’d left the premises.

* * *

 

The weeks with his companions, however weirdly called they were by Greed, had strengthened his resolve.

He only shortly met Edward Elric, in North City, just a few hours before the homunculus blew his disguise. Felt enriched after the now long time spent with him, pleased to know that the future, should their fight today make a difference, rested in capable hands. And Greed seemed to think along the same lines, though still repeating his mantra about world-domination, even when they reached the main gate of Central Command, the fight with Wrath already in full swing.

Buccaneer was fighting, Buccaneer and those others of Briggs brave enough, meaning all of them.

Saw that the automail was missing already, Bradley about to land a killing blow. Felt as Greed encased them in the shield, blocked the attack together with him.

Their style of fighting had evolved, he daresay merged, the results astounding. The General had always praised how quick he was, skilled with short blades. And he put it to use now, his hatred for the Fuhrer mixing with Greed’s hatred for Wrath.

Attacked with their claws, sword glinting off of their shield, cutting apart the vest they wore. Good in Miles opinion, the thing hideous to him, Greed mourning the loss of it already, growing more enraged.

Miles noticing that Buccaneer was getting up again, pulled a blade from his belt. Threw it to him, taking control of one arm, catching it. They traded blows with Wrath, numerous and hard, though not managing to land a direct hit.

Were cornered suddenly, Miles feeling the pain ripping through his body when a blade caught the side of his face, shield not catching up fast enough. Waited for another attack, thrown out of their balance.

Not coming, instead shots being fired at the other homunculus, who moved about the stones quickly, trying to evade his attackers.

“We need to strike when he can’t see!”

Buccaneers voice booming, blood and spittle falling from his mouth, a patch of red ever-growing on his uniform. He’d already tasted their enemies blade, had already suffered because of the ultimate eye.

Caught Greed before he could say anything unhelpful, instead proposing a plan.

_“We move in front, he strikes at us! We’ll open the shield, this way he shouldn’t be able to see!”_

Heard the voice inside of his head protest vocally, though quickly giving in, not offering a better plan.

Communicated silently with Buccaneer, saw him hesitate, then nod.

And so, they moved, turned Wrath in a way that had his sight on the rest of the Briggs soldiers limited, stayed close, biding his time until Buccaneer attacked.

Opening the shield at his back when he heard the heavy footfalls approaching, prepared for the pain of a sword piercing his gut and yet utterly surprised by it. But it did the trick, sent Wrath staggering.

Pulled it from his body again, gesture grand and, as he noticed, not only Greed’s doing.

Set off to attack again, wounding the homunculi a second time, fighting on and suddenly gaining an edge.

Almost tumbled over the edge, Wrath attacking the man set to kill him, falling into the waters below.

Miles taking charge of their feet now, sprinting over to Buccaneer, blood and coughing busying the medics around him.

Shushed what the man probably wanted to use as final words.

“Cut your dying and pull through!”

The man saluting him, now Greed taking the lead, pulling them away.

Somewhere on the way to their newest destination finding the time to think thoughts meant to calm him.

For the first time in quite a while, Miles felt grateful for it.

* * *

 

When he saw her in the underbelly of Central Command, Greed’s groan filled his mind.

The homunculus little speech about those injured staying behind almost going unnoticed, knowing better than to start a fight with her. Miles taking in her seemingly numerous injuries with worry, saw her arm in a sling, the pain in her movements. Skin on her face busted in more than one place, blood running from a small cut beneath one of her eyes like a tear would, swiped away by her. Greed the one tearing their eyes away from her, focusing them, though the usual rift between their two minds was bridged today, both close. Miles easily seeing that the homunculus feelings on the matter mirrored his own to an extent.

Travelled up with the others, saw people scatter over the huge space, Greed turning their head, giving him an eyeful of the General, taking stance with her men, taking command.

_“Calmer now?”_

_“Yes.”_

What he knew to be the final confrontation commenced.

The fire-power of Briggs was incredible, how they heeded her command, working as one unit. The smoke clearing, bringing them face to face with an unscathed Father. Greed was the one frozen in something akin to awe, kept watching as what he only ever referred to as weird humans, attacked, fought, with all they had.

Breathed inside of their shared mind, when not only flame and alchemy tried to bring Father down, but also a northern blade, sharp and yet utterly useless against their foe. Watched how they all skittered back with the force of a blast, distance again between the father and the others.

Watched, as Edward Elric attacked, enraged.

_“We need to do something!”_

Greed transfixed, rooted to the spot.

_“Don’t just stand there, we need to fight, we need to win!”_

Watched together with the homunculus, fighting for their feet to move at last.

_“Greed, fucking move it! Now!”_

_“Gah, no need to be so pushy Miles, I’m on it!”_

Moved together with the homunculus attacking, too late understanding the extent of its plan. Not hearing what was said, stuck with the task of holding onto his own body, soul almost sucked away by the force of the being called father. Felt the pull on him lessen again, the others attacking, the being sidestepping their attacks. Ed’s shout for Greed.

Olivier’s for him.

“MILES!”

A blade and an arm made of metal joining into the fray, Father finally losing his patience.

All of them thrown back now, scattered over the place. Saw many struggle to get up, some fail to. Miles for a short moment in control, sweeping the field, watching as Olivier was helped up by her brother.

Watched, when a brother sacrificed himself for another.

Cheered, locked away again, together with the others, egging the boy on, the boy that could save the world they lived in.

Felt the awe Greed felt. The want.

_“What does he hope to gain?”_

Miles wasn’t startled by Greed’s question, was almost one with him for too long now to be. But he understood.

_“His brother, revenge, peace. We’re humans Greed, we all want something, a lot of things, but we rarely know what we want the most. And we certainly don’t know what is best for us.”_

Felt himself being locked away then, however much he fought, his prison not budging.

Watched in something akin to horror, when Greed attacked Father again, shielded him from the pain the homunculus had to feel, separated them.

_“You are a smart man Miles, you really are.”_

_“Greed!”_

Could only scream, wasn’t sure if he was heard at all inside of himself.

_“What we want is not always what we need, right? I want everything, but that’s just not possible. Maybe I should settle for something less than everything.”_

Continued to rage, to scream, though Greed speaking on undeterred.

_“Though you Miles, you know what you want, so go get it!”_

Felt the separation become stronger between their minds, felt his body more and more, felt flesh knitting itself together and bruises forming and muscles screaming in pain.

_“I know what I want now Miles, know that I had it all along. I’ll go now and meet my friends.”_

Felt the presence in his body leave, searched for it and came up empty.

Was winded, hands on the floor, watching as Greed was saying his last words, was consumed by father.

Felt himself being pulled back by his vest, almost overheard her plea to come with her, stumbled.

Watched, as the ultimate shield encased father.

Watched, as it was transmuted to be brittle.

Watched, as Edward Elric put an end to the fight with a punch.

Watched, leaning on Olivier and her leaning on him, when Alphonse Elric came back to this world.

Body and Soul.

* * *

 

“Couldn’t sleep either?”

Buccaneer padding into the kitchen, already occupied by him.

The youngest Armstrong brother had cared for, that everybody under his sister’s command was brought to the mansion, given a bed and medical attention, should there be no need for a stay at the hospital. Buccaneer had a grizzly stab-wound, but could be transported here after surgery, the hospital glad for every bed that could be given to a new patient.

Shook his head.

“Yep.”

His own wounds were small in comparison to most, bruises and small cuts, nothing more. But he still had a lot of problems, fighting with the empty feeling in his body. The fact that he was suddenly alone in his own head again, barely able to get used to it. Limbs refusing to cooperate at times.

The hollow feeling, he took everywhere with him.

“You know how the boss is?”

Watched as Buccaneer sat down on one of the wooden chairs slowly, carefully, the kitchen in the family wing of the manor comfy somehow, reassuring.

Yet again noticing how easily he’d fallen into the role of a spectator.

Sighed.

“Is still sleeping according to Major Armstrong, though he is very concerned the she released herself from the hospital.”

Had been wounded severely during the promised day, felt that him leaning on her when he was finally free again, quickly had shifted to her leaning on him. Yet, she’d worked the whole day through, had let nothing get in the way of helping the people and soldiers around them first. And had collapsed long after night had fallen, thankfully near one of the doctors around.

The image of her stomach, blue and red when they revealed it, the severity of internal injury suddenly clear, not leaving him.

Not letting him sleep.

“So, she’s overdoing it?”

Buccaneer looking troubled by the news, but then sighing himself.

“Well, should’ve guessed it. As soon as we heard what happened to you, she went into overdrive.”

Held his mug with both hands at that, looking away.

Guilt rose inside of him, for not having fought harder.

“It’s my fault.”

Miles thankful that Buccaneer wasn’t the kind to just say “don’t be” in a noncommittal manner, but rather inquired about it.

“What exactly?”

His words spilling forth, nothing stopping them. No one.

“If I’d have been more attentive when walking to the train station, or if I’d have fought harder, I could’ve joined the battle. Could’ve helped with protecting all of you. Nobody would’ve had to worry, or to set out spies, maybe I could’ve even warned you. Instead I was too weak to fight the homunculus off, too weak to be in charge of my own body. If I’d have been able to fight off the stone…”

Her voice talking over his, forcefully.

“We’d probably not even be here. You made Greed help us, not me, not Buccaneer, not Father. The little runt maybe, but mostly you. And without that little stunt he pulled off, well, we certainly wouldn’t be here.”

Stared at her, how she was leaning on the doorframe. Feet bare, only clad in a top and shorts, hair a messy bun on top of her head. Could see the bulk of bandages around her middle through the top, her stilted movements, her still ashen features.

No answer coming from him, but Buccaneer speaking up.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“Shouldn’t _you_ be in bed?”

The big man blushing a little, Olivier getting herself a coffee, walking through the kitchen slowly, sitting down at the same table they did, not without difficulty.

But Miles, though alight with worry for her, was taken aback by her words.

Had he really made such a difference, would Greed truly have acted differently if he hadn’t been there? Would battles have been different? He had been so close with the homunculus, had, though unwillingly, shared his body and mind with him. There’d been good inside of him, lots of it, Greed only not able to see it on his own. Miles wanted a lot of things, yes, but they’d never been enough for Greed’s ambitions.

“Earth to Miles.”

Snapped out of his thoughts when Buccaneer pocked him, understood that he’d drawn into himself again. This happened sometimes now, often even. It had been normal for so long, his body needing so little charge.

Apologized, like he always did in such situations.

“Sorry, what was that?”

The bear of Briggs rolling his eyes in an overdone fashion.

“If you could help me up?”

Did so, quickly. Not catching when Buccaneer winked at them, leaving the room and bidding them a good night.

Did neither catch when Olivier had started to blush, once he sat down again. Silence filling the kitchen for a while, nothing but the noises of the old house, creaking floors and groaning pipes still creaking and groaning, however much they’d cost. The sounds of soldiers in the distance, snoring, talking, laughing.

They’d lost so many and he wondered if he maybe could’ve saved some lives, if he’d been himself.

“Stop it!”

Her voice cutting through his thoughts, his doubts. His focus falling on her, utterly and completely. Red eyes meeting blue, unwavering. Saw the red line beneath her left eye, the small cut, which had made her look like she’d been crying blood.

“Stop what?”

His voice croaky, though his own. Not savvy, not cool, just him.

For some reason she was exasperated.

“Your overthinking! You did what you could, and you did that well! What more do you want?”

Was taken aback for a moment at her choice of words, want having been something so important to him. Mulled his words over, deciding on doing one of her least favourite things.

“I do not know. But what do you want? When Greed and I came to your room that night, did you want to kill us?”

Her snort unexpected.

“Of course not, though I considered it. Trained you better than to be lumbering around like that. But that homunculus wanted a lot of things, little of that I wanted to give him.”

Miles thinking about her that night, ready for them. Sword brandished, words strong, his heart beating out of his chest. His own want had fuelled Greed’s immensely. Though he was decidedly better at hiding it, though not able to supress the question to tumble from the tip of his tongue.

“Greed went to you because of your position, your power. Knew, that Father wanted to plant him through me as a spy in your mists. But his wanted shifted that night to something different…”

Her scoff catching his straying gaze again.

“What?”

His inquiry short, but honest.

“It is not really flattering if someone wants you, that claims to want everything.”

Silence stretching on again after that statement, eyes straying. Heard her sigh after a while, shift, and when she moved to get up, he helped. Amazed when she let him.

Walked with her to her rooms, door open, the two of them standing in the doorway, facing the other.

Her question much more quiet than before, her face less guarded. Suddenly felt how much she’d worried for him, how happy she seemed that he was with her again.

“Did you want what Greed wanted, when you were with him? Or was it the other way around?”

The question not tricky, one he’d thought about often.

“We had our own wants each, though I think he had quite a few more.”

A slight smile coming unbidden to his face, the one on hers accompanied by her head crocking to the side.

“And what were yours?”

Felt what lurked behind her words, hesitated for only a moment.

_“Though you Miles, you know what you want, so go get it!”_

Greed’s words ringing in his mind, feeling like he was there again for a second.

Leaning forward, pressing his lips to hers.

She didn’t pull back.

* * *

 

“How long ‘till she visits you again?”

The man at the market put the tea in a little paper-bag carefully, smiling up at him. It was her blend, the vendor the only one who had it. Liked to stock up on it, just to make sure.

“Another two months.”

Smiled, his heart beating out of his chest just at the thought of her.

Would sleep on his bed, would dance with him in the evenings. Tea and food would be enjoyed, coffee and the sweetest pieces of bakery he’d ever tasted.

“So long without her, and then I heard she doesn’t stay very long either?”

She still had a Fort to run, he knew that. Hadn’t wanted to let him go from there at first, though knew she had to. And he hadn’t wanted to leave either, but there was another wish of his, wanting to be fulfilled.

They’d agreed on the fact that you couldn’t have everything at once.

“A few weeks at a time only. But I don’t mind, as long as I can see her at all.”

Smiled at the vendor, stowing away his purchase and walking along after saying his goodbyes.

Strolled over the marked, always taken time and time again by the colours, the smell, the smiles. The laughter around him, the sound of vendors praising their wares, of children running around, screaming with joy. The smell of pastries filling his nostrils, drawing him to one corner of the market.

Knew that he really shouldn’t, but got one anyway. Had learned that sometimes you could get what you wanted right away.

And thinking about her again, he knew that you sometimes couldn’t. Had to set priorities, had to hope for the future to be in your favour. For friends and family and love to come to you, that you couldn’t rush it.

Walked towards his house, slipping into the cool walls of it and putting the tea away, smiling to himself.

Two more months and she’d be here again, with him. One week, two weeks, maybe a month. He’d take a day too, if that was all he got. He’d learned after all, that wanting something wasn’t too bad.

As long as you didn’t get too greedy.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), whose goal is to improve communication between readers and authors. I invite you to leave:
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